August's Editor's Note
Being Black in America
By Cashana
What does it mean to be Black in America? After watching the documentary on CNN I was totally depressed and sadden, because based on what was shown, life for my ass is bleak.
Being black in America means I will learn slower than the average person in a third world country. However, the truth of the matter is I am not dumb or uneducated. Why? I had a mother and family who touted education over everything else. A “C” was unacceptable and would incur punishment and nothing came before doing homework and studying. My mother may have been working for minimum wage and she had trouble with keeping the gas and telephone on, but she didn’t scrimp on making it well understood education was the key to not be in the situation we were in. Plus, we had to read, because that is all we saw her doing. So I was sadden to see paying kids to go to school is a motivating factor and they are experimenting on our kids to see what incentives will work. Well, in my house a good ass whipping and pure punishments of restrictive things worked, but now, kids don’t have parents in the home to enforce such things. Sad.
Being black in America means I will be a single mother. There are a lot of single parents out here, black and white. The breakdown of the family unit affects all races. However, being black I see the disparity in our communities. I can’t tell you the number of kids I hire at Tenda Chick who come from a single parent household and it shows. Some in a positive way and others negatively. The woman with the five children whose car broke down and she was working several jobs and still not making ends meet, was the truth. I have seen this happen to people I know. Whoopi Goldberg said public assistance helped her, well it doesn’t help all and the ones who benefit from it, probably could get a job and work. Even at Tenda Chick seeing a mother scheduled 6 days a week for 4.5 hours will have to call in at least 1 day because too many hours means a cut in her assistance. That my people, means the system has failed. I may end up being a single parent if I decide to adopt, but that is not my goal. I really believe that a male is needed in the home who brings forth the spirit of strength, morals and positivity. How is a woman suppose to know what a good man looks like when she has nothing to compare it to? How is a man supposed to know what being a man is without the guidance and a role model to emulate? Our young kids who have no interaction with their fathers are suffering and I have seen it with my own eyes and I am a product of its effect. No I do not agree with Maryann Reid’s Marry My Baby Daddy’s initiative. Because we are putting the cart before the horse. My opinion, however, the couple on the documentary says it brought them closer and allows them to look at the future together, but shouldn’t they have done that before they had the two children? And every father ain’t worthy to be in every child’s life. A father doesn’t have to biological, but he does need to have the factors I imagine include love for that child, discipline, understanding and the ability to instill the good and admonish the bad, but most of all be there for that child.
Healthcare for folks who do not have jobs with good insurance affects more than the black race. However, when I hear my people say they are going to the emergency room when they have insurance I am baffled. We don’t understand that the emergency room is for emergencies and if you have insurance and can go to your primary care doctor, why not do this? Your doctor who has been seeing you for years knows your medical history, he knows you and the emergency room doctor only knows what’s on the intake form and frankly you are one in many patients they will see, so you know your service will be subpar and if you are lucky they may figure out what’s wrong with you. Being black in American in regards to our health is hard. We suffer from many maladies that are at times genetic and others our own doing. I thought the Salt Sensitivity issue was quite interesting, although not fully accepted; it does give pause for thought to our high blood pressure issues. However, really our high blood pressure comes from poor diet, little exercise, poor education, predisposition and the weight of life we as black folk in America carry on our shoulders. Stress is killing us and I know it because I have seen it happen. (I mean, when you have to travel an HOUR just to get a fresh vegetable, that is really saying something.)
Being black in American means because I am educated, independent, unmarried and well over 30 I will most likely never get married. Statistically, my prospects were lessened with the fewer number of black males graduating from college, who are gainfully employed and those in prison. Or the fact I am too damn picky. I admit I am. Or the fact I am not willing to try “something new”. I admit I am not into the something new, yet. However, according to CNN if I don’t keep my options open for other ethnicities I will never get married. Well, folks I ain’t out to get married just to do it. I want to marry someone who accepts me as I am and is willing to put 100% into the relationship by being committed, honest and looks towards the future with goals and aspirations. I need someone who understands I am not really just an “Angry Black Woman,” I am a woman who happens to be black who has always had to be two steps ahead of her white counterparts and she has always had to fight the struggle to keep what is important. Like Michael Baisden said (and I could give a rat's ass about anything he says most of time), what are the men bringing to the table? We black women have the money, cars and homes, what is the black male bringing to the relationship worthy of exploring? If I knew, I’d be in a relationship right now.
I found the segments regarding the men who both graduated from the infamous Little Rock, Arkansas school and their reaction to the death of Martin Luther King to be quite interesting. Both had similar feelings regarding that day and how the white kids taunted them and laughed at King’s death and how devastating it was for them to endure. Not only were they forced to be in a school where it was clear they were not wanted, but to fight that battle everyday took its toll. One of the men ended up on drugs but eventually found his way and the other became a successful contractor, who later sold his business to become a six figure wage earner. The one who lost his way is now preaching. The other has a successful marriage with three sons. Two of his sons are successful and in relationships with white women and the other son has had some troubles, but has children. Interesting.
Being black in America means there are a whole lot of single women raising children. Daddies who don’t know how to be fathers because they have nothing to emulate. Being black in America means our black males are dropping out of high school and many are finding their way to our prison system. Being black in American means if I was a man I wouldn’t be able to get a job. Did you see that young man being racially discriminated? Did you see he finally got a part-time job? What is being done to confront the employer who denied him an interview in essence when they realized he was black? Damn, he had on a suit and tie.
Being black in American also means you can be ostracized because you enunciate your words and identify with what is considered white. Being black in America means rap is no longer about social consciousness, it is about the all mighty dollar, which is an effect on what the media has allowed to be portrayed. Being black in America means young boys only want to be ballers and rappers. If I could tell you the number of times an interviewee with Tenda Chick has told me this, I wouldn’t need a second job.
Being black in American means being a suspect. Ask DL Hughley about his son. Being black in America means every one of us knows someone or has someone in their family incarcerated. Did you see Michael Dyson choked up talking about his brother serving a life sentence? Hell, did you see his brother? My brother is incarcerated I will talk about it some, but it is not something I want to dwell on because to do so makes my heart hurt. His release date is 3-12-2012 and he has been incarcerated since 1995. I haven’t talked to him in many years and he doesn’t send me letters anymore. Being black in America tells me when he is released with the many years probation he has, he will probably return to prison. Sometimes I wonder if my mother hadn’t died would things change, but I know they wouldn’t because Chris made a choice and now he suffers the consequences. My uncle told me last year he would probably never get to see Chris again, and he was right.
The reviews of CNN’s documentary have been very mixed. The first episode seemed to focus on the negative of the black experience and only highlight a few positive things and it didn’t really focus on the Black woman and family as much as the hardships. Others asked who was watching because the folks who need to watch aren’t and many were watching Project Runway. Honestly, Soledad didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. I knew all of that, I am black. Like Karen Hunter stated in an article about the documentary, it is just like the Million Man March or The Covenant for Black America. We talk about it but it is not reaching the folks who need to hear it. All of us know how our lives are, we know that nothing comes easy with us, we know we have to balance being black and being black in corporate America. You know your business voice is different from your sistergirl voice. We are not the highest minority anymore, but I tell you even when we were, we still felt like the lowest man on the totem pole. Our experiences are varied and cover a wide range of stories. Being Black in America didn’t post a balance view of us and the fact of the matter is unless we ALL are willing to talk about racial disparity, things will remain the same. I commend CNN for trying to tell our story, but they need to tell the whole story and balance it. Using our plight as a way to garner ratings, you know they were playing up the ugly on the show by continuing to showcase stereotypical circumstances. Follow that man who is going to be homeless for 5 years and see what it really is like to be homeless and not be able to find a job. Or the VP of the marketing firm as he tried to balance living as a black man and working in a white world and just never fits in. Damnit, give us hope for change for all people. It is a damn shame a Hispanic family can drive expensive SUV’s and not even be legal and a black man trying to get on his feet cannot qualify for a car loan.
Being black in American according to CNN, was not the be all to end all. Do you really think they would have done this piece if Barack Obama, who is bi-racial, wasn’t a contender to be the next President? The piece just didn’t have the affect the brass wanted. Black folk felt deceived and the white folks were tuning in to something else.
Being Black in America means I want to be free from all these things that make it difficult just to be an American who is black.