August's Editor's Note
Support & Compassion
By Cashana (c) 2009
Sometimes I am amazed at what I read in the blogsphere. There are times the commentary is enlightening and other times it leaves me contemplating the writer’s words; but, there are few times I am appalled at what I have read. A few months ago I was perusing a regularly visited blog and was disconcerted to say the least by the statements of the blogger.
I interpreted her words to say that black women need to move away from dating only black men, because all bad things that have happened to them have been by the hands of black men. They do not deserve our support. Black women limit themselves by trying to wait on a black man who will in turn hurt them and demean them. She states there are no black men decrying the unjust ways black women are being treated. She states black men defend other black men’s actions when they hurt black women and children. In other words, the black community does not support its own in regards to the travesty done to their own. She unequivocally states other races would support victims, whereas only in the black community do they support the offender. That hurt. The statements hurt me to my core.
Black men are a dying breed. They have died on the inside more times than we as black women will ever know. Think about how Henry Louis Gates, Jr. felt having to be arrested for trying to get into his own home. He is a renowned educator, but he got treated like a lot of black men do in this country. Even Michael Jackson died on the inside each and every time he was called “Wacko Jacko” or people made the statement he wanted to be white or the other crazy things they said about him. They started dying when they were sold into slavery. They started dying when they watched their women and children being sold and raped by the Masters. The honor that was left on the continent, is hard to garner in a country where folks like Pat Buchanan have the audacity to say white people built this country, when we all know it was the sweat, blood and tears of black men and women who toiled to build this country.
Black men are not perfect, but show me a race of men who are? I have suffered at the hands of black men and it started from conception with the sperm donor. I have seen them cheat on their wives, father children with different families, leave their children, beat their wives and girlfriends, live a down low life and drug themselves. I have seen them be shady with folks, as well as rob, shoot and kill. Again, are only black men doing this? Not. I have suffered at the hands of white men and other races as well. Men are men regardless of race.
Black men support one another because they know what it feels like to always be accused and treated as second class citizens. They support each other because no one else will. I’m not saying it is right, but I understand as Chris Rock would say. Even with President Barack Obama as this country’s leader, things racially are the same. Think of the young black kids denied the use of the swimming pool. Imagine how those young males felt. Some may argue it was classism, but to those black kids it is racism. How is a black male supposed to overcome that which has been imbedded for hundreds of years?
The blogger states black men are undeserving of our support and compassion because they don’t support their black women. That is a hard pill to swallow. Frankly, when I look at things I don’t know any white, Asian, Indian etc. who deserves my compassion or support because I don’t see them supporting black women either. Yes, they support their own more quickly than someone outside their comfort zone, but they are definitely not supporting me. I have also seen what they do to their own as well and it is no different from what black men do to black women. Black men are not perfect, but they should be judged on their individual character and not judged as the epitome of the whole race. How is a black man or a man of any race to learn compassion and support of others if no one teaches them? How are they to learn if they are continually treated negatively? Support and compassion are learned and someone has to teach our young boys. I am not giving up on black men. I will continue to call them out for their actions. To deem all black men as undeserving is to ignore the faults of others and to denote the black men in my life as nothing. I chose not to continue the perpetuation of hatred towards the entire black male race. I chose to admire the glimmer of hope I see in some of the black men I have encountered who actually show support and compassion to black women. No one is perfect.