December's Editor's Note
Black Friday Adventure
By Cashana
It’s Thanksgiving evening. Everyone has enjoyed their meal and now have settled into the den to watch some game on the flat screen. I’ve retired to the living room to peruse the newspaper. This is a serious undertaking. One must plot their journey and examine the things they must do and have before they venture out into what some consider ---crazy. I consider it a tradition. Black Friday shopping is the one moment in time where my careful planning and my OCD tendencies can shine for all to see.
One of my younger cousins asked, “What are you doing?” I explained painstakingly the process, probably in more detail than she really wanted to know. Her way of doing things is in an overly distracted fashion with no true goal in mind. Um, can’t do that, I need a plan because seriously, without it I may as well not even think about doing it.
My cousin’s wife, the one that I actually like, asked if she could accompany us and for me the more the merrier, but um, I explained Black Friday Tip #1, you must have a plan. And a plan she made which is one reason I like her so much.
Even when others were nestled cozily in bed, I was up reviewing my game plan insuring I didn’t miss anything and making sure everything would go off without a hitch. So when my head finally hits my pillow, I dreamed of the chase, the adrenaline rush and the feeling I would get when I could finally proclaim, “I did it!” I also felt like punching myself in the throat because I’d be damn if the alarm wasn’t going off and it was time to get going.
When my phone began ringing, I wondered who was calling me at such an ungodly time. It was my cousin’s wife informing me that JCPenney's was opening up at 3:30 am, not 4:00 am. Damn it! My black Friday was already starting off discombobulated.
I rushed my sister up and even began to snap my fingers because I was so mad. But I had to think of the prize at the end of the journey. We made it to the store 15 minutes after it opened and the rush was on.
I have a question to ask? Why do parents bring their children out for the black Friday sales? As we rushed around the store we noticed a cute but crying little black boy walking around JCPenney’s searching for his mama. Folks were stopping and trying to help the poor child, but we were much too busy trying to get to the next store to help. What? Black Friday Tip #2: Seriously, keep your kids at home. The poor fella was probably tired as hell. It wasn’t even 5:00 am yet.
We finished our mall shopping at 5:00 am in time to make it to Tarjay. You know they had the best sales. Parking was horrendous and the line was still going in when we got there. We grabbed a buggy from outside. Black Friday Tip #3: Don’t wait to get inside to get a buggy; they will be all gone. We were in Target from a little after 5 until almost 8 am. Oh, it didn’t take us long to find our items. It was the long muther$^^*king line to check out! Had us going up and down aisles and acting like we were searching for the damn yellow brick road! Made me mad. It also made us put back items. Black Friday Tip #4: If you are looking for a particular item and it is all gone, check the aisles where people are waiting to check out because folks will inevitably put stuff down when they have time to think about it. What did I do in line for an hour in a half? I retightened my hair. Seriously, that was a convoluted mess. And I taught some folks what convoluted meant. Teach one, learn one.
Have you had Mimi’s Café’s breakfast? Yumm-o! After waiting in that ridiculous line, we decided to make a quick breakfast stop. My chipotle breakfast burrito without cheese and eggs was great!
Next we headed to Wal-Mart -- the last stop. In and out. Believe it or not, I was home and in my bed by 9:50 a.m. Thank you very much! And my prize?? Sleep. I hadn’t really slept all week and after a mini breakdown on Thanksgiving morning, all I could think about was sleep. I didn’t care if I was slobbering out the mouth, I just wanted sleep. Unfortunately, my family members do not understand my need for rest as they constantly woke me up for bs. Each time prefacing their request, “I’m sorry I have to wake you up, but…” But, when I finally did fall asleep after 1 pm (don’t ask), it was wonderful.
Are you finished with your Christmas shopping? Here’s my final tip: Order it online. Imani!