I’d been attending church at Rehoboth Missionary Church, which also happens to be my fiancé’s family church for about 1½ years now.  I sing with and advise the youth choir and this particular Sunday was like any other Sunday prior to a major holiday.  Most of the family was home and at the end of the service one by one family members stood to express how happy they were to be back at home and amongst their church family.  Then Andre stood, and because he currently works in Louisiana with FEMA I was expecting more of the same from him, seeing as how he was home for the holidays as well.

He stood there and requested that I come and stand with him.  He took my hand. What are you doing for the rest of your life? He asked.  He bent down on one knee and asked for my hand in marriage.  Right there, in the presence of everyone he loved and respected.  In that very moment I knew without a doubt that I would be spending the rest of my life with this man.  There was only one answer.  Yes.  He slipped the engagement ring on my finger and I could hear the church clapping and people were crying, Nicholas was crying, everyone was crying tears of joy.  Andre had created a memory that I will never forget.  Every woman at one time or another, dreams of the moment when the man she loves will ask for her hand.  This day, I realized that Andre didn’t just love me; he was in love with me.  However, the journey was not easy one.  We can never take our relationship for granted.  We’ve overcome too many obstacles to get to this point in our relationship.

Yes, I am newly engaged.  Yes, I love this man desperately.  I am very happy.  But, let me tell you; with all this happiness and bliss comes relief; a time to exhale.  For a long time, faith is what kept me grounded enough to wait and be patient.  When I wasn’t sure if this man (now my fiancé’) was paying attention, I had to step back to get him to notice me; to see what I saw for us.  I had to know in my heart that if our relationship was to be that eventually one day we would find our way into each others hearts and stay there once and for all.

Living separate lives and ignoring what was right in front of us was what we had done for a long time.  We fussed, and argued and disagreed about damn near everything before we finally got it together.  Hell, even after we got together we did more of the same.  We were off, we were on again.  But one thing was for certain.  We had absolutely no intention of being apart, not for long anyways.

We endured more than we should have before we realized that we were both just being difficult and wasting precious time.

I had to take the real good look at myself.  Evaluate the person that I was and work on the person that I wanted to be in order to find true happiness within myself.  I am in a good place right now; I think that I have changed for the better.  I am a little more patient and more tolerant than I used to be.  I have learned the power of forgiveness.  Let’s not forget trust.  I’m not speaking of trusting my partner, but trusting myself and following my own instincts and feelings.  I’m not so quick to judge these days, but I’m quick to call him to the carpet to get the gates of communication open.  In the past shutting down and ignoring my feelings and instincts have only resulted in my retreating and pushing people away without any warning no discussion needed. I’ve also learned that holding on to the past had been destroying my relationships and it would have destroyed this one if I had not just let go of those things that I could never change or control. 

Moving from “my” mode to “our” mode will be a transition for me, seeing as how I have been this single and independent woman for so long.  Now, I am at a point in my life where I am willing to share my world and toys with someone else. 

I love myself first and foremost. Now, I understand my worth and my value as a woman; a woman who is deserving of the love of a good man.  For as long as I could remember, I’ve said these words but my actions never lived up to these words.  In this moment, I feel whole.  It’s a wonderful feeling and I can express it.  He tells me that he loves me everyday.  He has let down his guard and shown me a side of himself that he’d never shown me before; a romantic side, a more sensitive and caring side.  I can say that we are two people, two hearts with one promise and one Love.  We’re happy and we agree that even when life tests our commitment to each other (and it will) that we will step back and regroup and find that common thread that binds us.     

Ladies, through the years we have welcomed new additions through marriages and the births of our Imani babies.  Our lives have changed and gone in directions that we had not anticipated or imagined.   We have all changed and faced challenges and overcome obstacles.  Some of us have found love and lost love. Our lives will forever continue to evolve.  And through it all one thing has remained constant………..IMANI!!