March's Editor's Note
20 Reasons Not to Go On Vacation with your book club members
By Cashana
(c) 2010
(Now you know you weren’t going to be left out of a list like this!)
20. Everyone wants to go but you.
19. Trying to get the initial deposit from everyone is like having a root canal without anesthesia.
18. It doesn’t matter you have given the members an Imani Book Club Anniversary brochure; someone will ask me where are we going again. Yeah.
17. No matter how many times I stress doing a payment plan, only a few follow. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.
16. Even though I made available the passport application, folks still don’t know what to do.
15. I have to get gangsta in the middle of a book club meeting because they didn’t give me their guest’s name.
14. Folks forget I have the OCD. Don’t let the nonchalance fool ya.
13. Everyone wants to go on the inexpensive cruise, but everyone won’t go. Plus, you have to actually pay on it. Yeah, I think some folks forgot about that small detail.
12. Folks trying to say I need to buy some more clothes just because we are going on a 3 day cruise. Imma need ya’ll to act like you know me on the boat, even if my damn pants are a bit saggy and my shirts look a few sizes too big. Ya’ll know we are in a recession. Shit, I got another 75 pounds to lose. What?
11. Folks calling me about what port we are leaving out of. Please refer to #18.
10. I am really concern about the first time cruisers, but Imma keep my mouth closed. I mean, when my sister went on her first cruise she had a little problem with hyperventilating and had to have a fan on her most of the cruise not to mention a bad case of seasickness, but you didn’t hear that from me.
9. When the final deposit is due only a very few folks had paid it, and most of the invited guest hadn’t paid anything since the first deposit. :::sideeyeingfolks:::
8. My travel agent will not want to work with me again because of all the late payments, cancellations and changes. Sorry Kristine!
7. I’m going to need the members to call their cell phone companies before they leave in reference to the cost of using your phone on the ship. Seriously, I’d hate for folks to get a bill that is more than a mortgage. Which reminds me to change the message on my phone saying don’t leave a message because it will cost me more than your first born child. Please and thank you!
6. Please do not get the workers fired by flirting or anything else. Their families depend on that money coming home. Look, but don’t touch. If you can help yourself.
5. If you look for me and can’t find me on the boat, I’m probably in my cabin napping…this means DO NOT DISTURB!! I’m on vacation!!
4. Please make sure to read your boarding documents before we leave. . . don’t get embarrassed at the boarding dock when they tell you you can’t take that “contraband” on the boat!
3. No we are NOT wearing the “book-club-family-reunion-this-the-first-time-we-all-been-somewhere-together” t-shirt on the cruise. Don’t even pack it!
2. And by all costs possible! Do NOT fall, break, sprain or hurt yourself while on this cruise. If they have to take you to the “Bahamian” hospital, God only knows what they’ll do to you and when the boat leaves, I’m gonna be ready to go home, so I hope they bring you back cuz I ain’t gonna ask where you are. . .
1. Those going to the beach, please remember if a man asks to take you to the beach as he tries to chat you up, um remember he is not taking you there to sun and frolic in the sand, more like f…, yeah you get it. They think Americans are rich, but I think they are slowly but surely realizing …we ain’t!
Seriously, this is an opportunity to remember why I started this book club and recognize we have come a long way since its inception. Through the ups and downs, tears, fears and moments of disagreement, we have managed to hold on, even when it seems like it is by a very strained string. What the future holds, only God knows but it will take the faith of all of us to continue bonding over books and demonstrating our sisterhood of beauty, power, strength and confidence.